Portland’s celebration is kind of puny compared to Dublin’s five-day festival, New York City’s parade or even my hometown’s (Pittsburgh) celebration, but that doesn’t change the fact that March 17 will be the best day of the year so far — even if it is on a Monday. Get started early with a proper Irish breakfast of bangers, eggs, baked beans, stewed tomatoes and colcannon, and spend the day expanding your beer gut and growing freckles.
The past three holidays have been, well, a blur, but I do recall starting at Bull Feeney’s around 6 am and after a few hours heading over to Ri Ra and then to Brian Boru. By late afternoon (when the crowd grows exponentially), I’d head home for a nap before round two with dinner and late night drinking at Ruski’s.
This year, I’ll most likely do exactly what I did last year and the year before and the year before: celebrate with good beer, good food and good company. I’ll stand on Market Street and wave a banger and a shamrock necklace at my co-workers as I slosh to the next bar, following close behind those sexy bagpipers.
THE BIG ONES
Bull Feeney’s, located at 375 Fore St., is hands-down my favorite local Irish pub. The beer selection is the best in town and no other Irish pub can beat its menu. Along with the usual menu of traditional food, Irish breakfast, Boston breakfast and eggs benedict are offered and served from 6 am-noon. Corned beef and cabbage are added to the lunch and dinner menu. Live music starts at 7 am with the duo of Tom and Don and is followed by bagpipers in kilts playing between sets by the Napper Tandies downstairs (11 am) and Swaggering Growlers and Red Light Revue upstairs (5 pm-close). For more information, call 773-7“ or go to www.bullfeeneys.com.
Ri Ra, located at 72 Commercial St., starts its celebration at 5:30 am with the Paddy Plunge at East End beach. Daring swimmers brave the cold ocean to raise money for the Portland Firefighters Children’s Burn Unit. Anyone can jump in, but get a sponsor first. Please? After the plunge, the soaking wet return to Ri Ra for a 6 am breakfast, however, the bar doesn’t open until 9 am. The menu will be limited to traditional Irish items and some top secret chef creations. Live music will be playing throughout the day with the bagpipers stopping in around 4 pm and Bailey’s Mistake playing Irish drinking songs at 8 pm. Call 761-4446 or got to www.rira.com.
And then there’s the ever-rowdy Brian Boru, at 57 Center St. Opening at 6 am, you can order Irish breakfast — which consists of eggs, fried potatoes, Irish bacon, grilled tomatoes and possibly some black pudding — through 11:30 am. Corned beef dinner is available until they run out. And they will! Live music starts at 8 am with Fanore, followed by Bog Hat from noon-3 pm, Box O’Crackers from 5-8 pm and Napper Tandies from 9 pm-close. And, of course, the bagpipers will stop in around 7 pm. Call 780-–6.
A FEW OTHER BARS TO VISIT
A visit to Ruski’s in the West End will offer the typical shenanigans of fighting for a seat and charming the bar-lassie for a drink, but with specials like bangers, colcannon and all those tasty Irish foods you can’t resist. Plus they have Guinness on tap and can make an Irish Car Bomb or Irish coffee like nobody’s business. Call 774-7604.
Over on the East End, you’ll find the Snug, a cozy little bar with all the Guinness you can drink. Doors open at noon instead of 5 pm for all those who want to avoid amateur hour in the Old Port.
Occupying the old Nappi’s location on Commercial St., Andy’s Old Port Pub is getting in on the celebration with Irish music by Acoustic North at 4 pm.
Slainte, the Gaelic word for “cheers!” and the name of a local bar, celebrates with live music from 6-close with Chris Keenan, Josh Lemay, Alex Pastuhov and The Slim Pickings. The bar serves some food and drinks.
If you’re going for that foodie, but no drinky type of celebration, book a reservation at Five Fifty-Five. The chefs are cooking up a sophisticated St. Patrick’s Day dinner. Along with their daily seasonal menu, you’ll find a four-course authentic Irish-inspired tasting menu. There’ll be drinks, too, of course.
HANGOVER HELPERS
Not many of us can take Monday and Tuesday off work to celebrate and recover. Unless you work at a bar, the hair-of-the-dog remedy isn’t the best idea. Reeking of alcohol in the office will not get you that promotion you’ve been praying for. Here are a few tried and true methods for a quick recovery.
• Drink a large glass of water before you pass out.
• Chug some Pedialyte when you wake up. Yes, I know it’s for babies and it tastes like sugary vomit, but it will rehydrate you faster than Gatorade or any other electrolyte drink.
• Eat a giant, greasy breakfast to lube up the insides and get everything flowing out of you. And finish it off with a banana. You’ll need the potassium to keep going.
• For an herbal remedy, get the Irish Flu tea from Homegrown Herb & Tea. I don’t know what it tastes like, but it can’t be worse than Pedialyte.
• Take a shower. You’re probably pungent as it is, and your body is dehydrated. You need all the water you can get.
• Don’t forget those ibuprofens. That headache — made from too many Guinness and too much bagpipe music — won’t go away on its own.